I think I Can?

What makes it so hard for us to believe in ourselves? I could be alone in this quandary but I don't think I am. Where is the balance between knowing that I can do nothing of eternal value without the inspiration and help of the Father and believing that He has qualified me to work for Him and grow His Kingdom? These are the questions on my mind right now. I began thinking about this while running yesterday.

My running buddies are very encouraging and remind me of the progress that I'm making but for some reason I feel the need to prove them right in my own mind before I believe them.
Yesterday I ran farther than I ever have in my entire life, I would never have imagined myself being able to run 11 miles. As we were getting through the last quarter of the run, my friend again reminded me of how far I've come with running and I admitted that I know he is truthful and doesn't tell me lies to keep me going, but for some reason, I don't know why, I felt like I had to prove it to myself and in a way, prove it to him.

I definitely see this same concept happening in other parts of my life as well. Teaching, for example, I know that God has gifted me to teach and this came out in my lesson yesterday. The days are few and far between that I feel like I actually teach something useful and succeed in connecting with every student in my room in some meaningful way. Most days I feel like I'm doing crowd control and trying to teach music along the way. Praise the Lord that yesterday it worked and I was able to do what I came here to do: Love, Teach, and Inspire. It's days like this that keep me going when I feel like a useless teacher despite the encouragement of others.

Discipleship is another area of my life that I am encouraged in, but just don't see as much progress as I'd like to see. Yes, I realize it's not about me, but at the same time, it feels like I need to do more. In this area, I should probably spend more time seeking God's desire for growth and look for what He is doing more than what I can do.

All this to say, I am thankful for the ways God is speaking truth into my heart and helping me get a grip on life at the moment, get over myself and get stuck on Him.